In my line of work I get to have lots of interesting conversations about intimate issues with women of all ages. What always strikes me are the similarities between the generations. While we may not have the same lived experiences on many levels, when it comes to our sex lives - what makes us tick, what makes us worry and what turns us on - there is a lot of common ground. The opportunities for inter-generational learning are just as apparent for the older ladies I meet, as they are for the younger ones.
Let’s take the subject of lubricant as an example.
For women of a certain age, lubricant has long been perceived as a dirty little secret. A word which hinted at some deficiency on the part of the woman involved, that was required due to her *whisper it* inability to produce sufficient ‘natural’ lubrication.
In reality, there are plenty of reasons why you might not be producing as much natural lubrication as you might like, from where you are in your menstrual cycle to whether or not you are taking any medication. Even the contraceptive pill affects how much cervical mucous you produce because of its affect on oestrogen levels.
My own personal foray into the world of lubricants was as a teenager and involved something sticky and vaguely strawberry favoured. Needless to say it was not an experience that I sought to emulate until my late 30s, when a friend told me all about how it had transformed her sex life. The new lubes on the block, she explained, didn’t attempt to transform your nethers into a synthetic ‘box of chocolates’ or leave you sticky or chafed.
Luckily, some clever soul – or more likely souls – realised that the addition of a little extra lubricant into proceedings not only makes things a whole lot slippier, but also cranks things up a notch from a sensation perspective. More sensation equals better sex. This tiny shift in perception has catapulted lubricant from the realms of dirty secret to best kept secret, in one swift move.
Cue a mini explosion of products onto the market which are numbing, tingling, warming, cooling - you name it! If it’s glide you want the choice is seemingly endless.
But now that more women are beginning to understand the (sex) life giving properties of this little tube/bottle/tub they face another dilemma…which lube to choose?
Based on my perception that younger women can teach the more mature lady a thing or two when it comes to this topic, I asked the experts and these were their top tips for lube virgins.
1. If you are prone to yeast or bacterial infections avoid products containing glycerin, parabens or sugar.
2. Body glide, lube, lubricant – it’s all the same thing.
3. Lubricants can be as much fun when used alone as they are when there’s more than one person involved.
4. Water-based products are great, safe to use, easy to clean up and available in a range of textures and formulas – but they do tend to evaporate so apply liberally.
5. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate so the right glide can be transformational.
6. Silicone-based products are long lasting and work well for bum fun.
7. Liquid silicone melts solid silicone, so shouldn’t be used with silicone sex toys.
8. Oil-based products can break down a condom, making it less effective. So if you are using protection reach for water-based lubricants instead.
9. Organic products and those containing natural ingredients, are available and can help if you have any sensitive areas, such as your vulva, or if you have sensitive skin in general.
10. A drop or two of water-based lube inside a condom can increase his sensitivity.
So there you have it. The days of lube-shaming are well and truly behind us and we now have another weapon in our arsenal for boosting our sensitivity and helping us to enjoy those intimate moments - alone or with a partner. And with discreet packaging and only relatively small doses required, it has become part and parcel of sexual enjoyment - whether it’s really needed, or not!
We stock Yes Organic and Sutil Luxe Body Glide both water-based with organic ingredients, please take a look : Click Here